Bisexuality is a persons orientation to desire, sexually as well as romantically, the affections of both genders (male and female). However this is confusing for some. As a bisexual married woman, I have found it difficult to call myself bisexual, although I have felt this desire for other females since I was a teenager. Bisexuality is not always an equality in life, and you can find yourself feeling stronger for one at times than the other. I have heard it said to be a cycle. But nevertheless it does exist. We can have this feeling of need for both. It doesn’t necessarily have to make us sexually risky. We can settle down with one partner and live a long and prosperous life, but yes those wants and desires still linger there just out of reach. Sometimes we are lucky enough to find a partner willing to help us find a balance, but others often times hide this as their little dark secret keeping it only to themselves. It seems the need to keep our secret is still very strong among many. Fearing the backlash of the world, our families, our friends, our children and even our partners.

There are many that do not believe bisexuality even exists, not only in the heterosexual society but the homosexual society as well. Both feeling that you are just riding the fence, not able to make up your mind. Believe me if you could just make up your mind and be completely happy with no doubts rather than be bisexual then you would, why would anyone just want to feel these needs, to put themselves out in to society especially in this area knowing good and well the true backlash it could cause from your neighbors, co-workers, members of your church, or your business clients. Knowing good and well that this could cause you to loose everything. Why would we do that to ourselves? So then how can anyone say that we are just making it up?

Bisexuality however seems to be way over analyzed. I’ve read many different definitions and articles on the subject and there are still many lingering questions. Lifestyles are what the individual make for themselves. What’s right for me may not be right for you. Lifestyles seem to be the key word where it all separates and gets confusing at least to myself. Lifestyles such as a married woman having a lover that is approved of by her husband or a playmate for a married couple or a playmate for a male, male couple. That’s where terminology spiders out and causes people to wonder about casual sexuality, polyamory, polyfidelity. Being bisexual is having sexual as well as romantic desire for both sexes. I have also noticed in my readings and talking with other bisexuals that it is easier to be a bisexual female and in a relationship with a man that it is for a bisexual male to be bisexual and in a relationship with a woman. Although male bisexuality is more documented than women’s bisexuality in history. Man seem to be able to handle their wives desires for other females, actually that fulfills most straight males fantasizes, whereas women don’t seem to be able to handle the idea of their husband desiring a males affection. Why is this well for the most part it’s the demasculinization of the male partner that seems to be the largest reason. Although there are still women out there that find two men together a sexual arousal. We all have our ideas of what turn us on, our fantasizes that we know may not come true, and our wants and needs that we seek to fulfill. And to each of us it is a path that we must lay for ourselves, finding our own balances and way of life. To be judged by others is just a pebble in the way that we must move or pave around.